It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
