I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
