maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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