My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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