I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
