just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
