we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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