i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize