I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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