I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
