You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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