They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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