Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
