I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
