He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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