idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
