You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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