:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
