lets start a swedish sibling band together
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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