I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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