bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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