so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
