You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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