Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
only if we run a train.
done.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
