either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
