I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
