somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
