In America we eat man semen.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's always time for handjobs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You were trust falling into bushes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
