hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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