i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
