I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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