i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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