He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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