Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
