hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
