hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
