i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
