I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
