I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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