Define "chronic" masturbator.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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