Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
