2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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