I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
as a side note pls kill me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
