two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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