go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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