Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
