can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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