I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
