at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think my vagina is haunted
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
