I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
