I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
