Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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