I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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