we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
