Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
