Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
sick fucks of a feather flock together
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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