Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize