HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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